Justin G. Roy

760 Miles

( If you have not read Day One to MA post, click here! )

Tonight marks the end of Day 2 on my journey to Massachusetts. For those of you just tuning in, I was offered a position and accepted with Nichols College in Dudley, MA as their [first] Director of Social Media. Among the typical social media activities, I will also be working with staff and faculty in training each department to work together online in spreading the word about the Nichols brand, reaching out to the online world, and ensuring we can all be found online. Additionally, I will begin working with students, teaching them the intricacies of Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, online branding, social media and marketing strategies.

Onto the day. Well, I slept in a bit and woke up at about 9am, then again, I went to bed after 2am (yes, there were a lot of updated profiles with new pictures – don’t shake your head, we know you do the same thing – and tweets that had some great advice and articles on social media programs and measurable.

Within 15 minutes, I was laughing. Guess at whom. Dad.

We ordered breakfast, for him was pancakes and sausage links and for me was the continental breakfast (just give me coffee and a bagel). When the pancakes came, they came with whipped butter. Granted we all know and have seen whipped butter, but a certain somebody went into a 3-minute rant about what does whipped butter mean. Then he looks on the package and discovers it is 52% whipped butter and asks me what the other 48% is. Before I could answer, which leads me to believe this was a rhetorical question; he told me that he thinks the 48% is made with truck grease.

First lesson – check the butter on Dad’s plate before he sees it.

Pancake meal went well; Dad was happy because there were a couple of huge pancakes so it passed his professional inspection. With only three bites left to go, Dad stopped because (a man who is skinny and in shape) he was concerned about his weight. Only three more bites…..after slathering it with real butter and maple syrup.

We set out on the road, making our way through the rest of Ohio, right across the top tip of Pennsylvania, and into New York.

Quite a few people commented on my last post (through comments, private messages on Facebook, and tweets on twitter) on the Day One story about the gas level (check it out here if you have not already). Well, in response to these remarks, I decided to see how far I could push this (aka – use my pokin’ stick); my good friend Maura Wall-Hernandez will appreciate this.

I let the gas level get real close to empty; we were at the line right above empty. I swear he lost more hair right in front of me. Sorry, Mom.

Eventually I did get gas, and I found out my father does not close the door to the truck completely when I get out of the truck, just in case I left the keys in the ignition, manually locked mine and his doors (without him seeing), and closed them. At first, you might laugh and wonder (as I did) why pretend to close the door, but I thought it was a classic parental move. It’s not that he does not trust me, or think I have common sense but more so he is looking after me and has the knowledge of how I get when I multi-task (looking at my phone and texting, tweeting, talking, and pumping gas), I can multi-task, just not well.

As I type this, I realize that tomorrow we will be landing in Wilbraham, MA, both my hometown and where my parents continue to live. I will be unloading the truck into their garage, and will eventually take clothes and essentials towards Nichols towards the end of next week, to my best friend Coley’s house (he was so gracious to let me stay there until I find an apartment).

Tomorrow marks the end of the road trip to Massachusetts and begins the last week before being on Campus.

Tomorrow marks the end of the road trip with my father; I feel extremely lucky that I do not need a road trip to feel or get close to him.

Don’t worry, his quotes and sayings will never end, and since I have committed to keeping this blog alive with different happenings in my life, projects I am working on, programs we are writing (social media related – both ROI related and relationship measurable), and other thoughts and tips, I just know you’ll see more!

I’ll leave you with a few final notes:

• My dad can go to bed with the lights on – his eyelids turn the lights off.
• We did not get flip-flops. Nuff said.
• Dad is a “rubber neck” like me. He has to always be looking at everything on the road, side of the road, and in other cars that are passing or being passed.
• We both check the alarm clock multiple times, both the time set and to make sure we turned the alarm on.

(I will write about the drive tomorrow, in the night. Stay tuned!)

260 Miles West

Sitting here in a hotel in Fremont, OH. It’s quiet. One of those, sigh of relief, let me think about things, where are the taxi cabs beeping but I am so glad they are not here, kind of quiet.

My day started at 8am (yes, I set the alarm clock) after a full night of tossing and turning wondering if the 16’ Truck was large enough and how I was going to tetris-move and fit everything.

Rewind a bit…..

Southwest Airlines flew into Chicago at 7:05pm with a certain passenger who has not flown in over 25 years, a passenger who wondered why the bags of peanuts still look the same, a passenger who called a “few” times to go over what do to at the airport (walk to security, do not look suspicious, everything in the bin, walk through, go to gate, get on plane, sit down, get up when land, walk to baggage number 1), and a passenger who I call Dad. This was his first time to Chicago as well; to help me move and he really wanted to see my condominium before it sold.

At 7:06pm, I arrived at Midway Airport to pick up said father at the agreed upon location (baggage #1). I waited. Then I waited some more. Dad went to baggage # 7; but don’t worry there was a pay phone nearby (he is the last person I know who still uses a pay phone), allowing him to call my mother to tell her where he was, and she told him (again) where to go.

Finally we get on the Orange Line and head to Clark and Lake, where we walk a few blocks (in what I would consider warmer weather for Chicago, but Dad tended to disagree) to Smith & Wollensky for a few steaks and French fries (courtesy of a gift card I received from a former client – Thank You again, Terry).

After dinner, we take the train (this killed me – the restaurant was only a bit over 2 miles away – we could/should have walked) back home, where Dad walked around to “professionally assess the situation” of my packing, organizing and amount of “things” I have decided to bring with me (everything).

Fast forward back to the morning….

We wake up, take Frank The Tank (the dog) out for a quick morning walk, then off to get the Truck with many thanks to Evan for driving us (I wanted to walk, of course, the 3ish miles there) us to the Budget Rental location. Start loading at 10am and end at about 3pm. We held the contents inside as we shut the door, it is packed to the max. Sorry, no pictures of the inside available right now, but will post when I arrive in Wilbraham.

In the middle here, I did receive a very generous lunch from Ramon DeLeon of Dominos, there was Pizza, Coke, and Lava Cakes (delivered right when I needed it the most too!). Nobody does it like Ramon, period.

On the highway by 3:30.

Now, for the next 260 miles, I got to know a bit about my father, and I will highlight some of the funnier sayings (no, I am not trying to compete with that guy who runs a twitter account all about “stuff” his Dad say’s) and lessons learned thus far (these are in no particular order):

• My father, for some reason, needs flip-flops for the bath tub/shower. I asked why, and about 7 minutes later, I regretted that question. Good thing I mastered the smile and nod at such an early age.
• My father thinks eating three Filet O’ Fish sandwiches is a complete meal. From a fast food joint.
• My father thinks 68mph in a 70mph zone is excessively fast. He then told me that the Speed Limit meant it was just the limit and I could drive anywhere below that. Again, read the first bullet here – smile and nod.
• When my gas tank hits ½ full – he thinks it means ½ empty and we should get gas asap. When I pass a service station, he lets me know about it; even 5 miles later, he reminds me that I had passed it. 7 minutes later, he says there is a chance we could run out of gas. 8 minutes later, I voted myself to walk to get gas and leave Dad with the truck. 11 minutes later, I was praying for the truck to run out of gas.
• Truckers are the nicest people on the road – as long as you are also driving a truck over 16 feet
• Folks – when driving on the highway, be aware of whom you slam on your breaks in front of to sneak in last-minute on an off ramp: 16’ Truck packed full does not stop that fast. You are lucky I have cat-like reflexes Mr. I-Want-To-Cut-In-Line-At-The-Off-Ramp.

Well, I think that will be all for now. Nevertheless, I want to leave you with a few last thoughts:

I love my Father, no matter what I said above; he is extremely supportive, always there for me when I need it (and when I think I do not), and a kind and gentle person.

I will miss Chicago more than you will ever know. However, I am looking forward to returning to MA for many reasons. Luckily, for those who are still reading, we can all communicate online.

Tomorrow I hope to cover 500 miles; I would go for 650 miles, but my Father also thought it was strange that I drive for 5 hours without needing to get out of the car, stretch, move, etc. I told him that when something needs to get done, gosh darn it, I will get ‘er done. (seriously, 4 minutes after that, I regretted even suggesting this)

(I will write about the drive tomorrow, in the night. Stay tuned!)

I received an email from a good friend with the following quotes – which, of course, I thought were worth sharing…..

I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.

More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

I don’t understand the purpose of the line, “I don’t need to drink to have fun.” Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they’ve invented the lighter?

Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you’re going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you’re crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase “Regards” again.

Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn’t work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ’s. We just figured it out. Today’s kids are soft.

There is a great need for sarcasm font.

Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what was going on when I first saw it.

I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I’ll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone’s laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I’m still the only one who really, really gets it.

How are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.

A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.

Was learning cursive really necessary?

Lol has gone from meaning, “laugh out loud” to “I have nothing else to say”.

I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, all I hear is “I’m not real smart, but I’m imaginary smart”.

How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?

Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using ‘as in’ examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss’s last name to an attorney and said “Yes that’s G as in…(10 second lapse)..ummm…Goonies”

What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it…thanks Mario Kart.

MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

Bad decisions make good stories

Whenever I’m Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don’t mind if I do!

If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I’m from, this shouldn’t be a problem….

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you’ve made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don’t want to have to restart my collection.

There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

“Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this ever.

I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There’s so much pressure. ‘I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren’t watching this. It’s only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?’

I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damnit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?

I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it’s on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

I think that if, years down the road when I’m trying to have a kid, I find out that I’m sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.

Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time…

My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day “Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?” How the hell do I respond to that?

I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There’s nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.

I received the following in an email forward from my sister.  Since I read it multiple times, I thought it was worth sharing with you all; get a cup of coffee, kick your shoes off, and enjoy a laugh (while considering who you know that fits the description):

BBQ RULES

We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity . When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine…

(1) The woman buys the food.

(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.

(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill – beer in hand.

(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman. Here comes the important part:

(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine…

(6) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.

(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat

Important again…

(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN. More routine…

(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.

(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes. And most important of all:

(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.

(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed ‘ her night off ‘ and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there’s just no pleasing some women.

This is interesting……… not all old times were good times…. (received this in an email from a good friend)

They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot & then once a day it was taken & sold to the tannery…….if you had to do this to survive you were “Piss Poor” But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn’t even afford to buy a pot……they “didn’t have a pot to piss in” & were the lowest of the low

The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn’t just how you like it, think about how things used to be. Here are some facts about the 1500s: Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and they still smelled pretty good by June.. However, since they were starting to smell . .. . Brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the Babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, “Don’t throw the baby out with the Bath water!”

Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip an d fall off the roof. Hence the saying “It’s raining cats and dogs.”

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That’s how canopy beds came into existence.

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying, “Dirt poor.” The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance-way. Hence: a thresh hold..

(Getting quite an education, aren’t you?)

In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire.. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while.. Hence the rhyme: Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old.

Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, “bring home the bacon.” They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and chew the fat.

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.

Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the upper crust.

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a wake.

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift.) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be, saved by the bell or was considered a dead ringer…

So . . . get out there and educate someone! ~~~ Share these facts with a friend like I just did! ! !

 This video is hilarious.

 

I received the following from a Political Philosophy Professor I had at Assumption College.  Not only was he a tremendous professor who was well-liked and really cared about his students (though, he may say other wise), he taught his students how to look at something and not just take the facts from the surface; how to analyze what the situation was and look at it from different points of view.

When you left Assumption, he continued to keep in touch through email.  Of course, not individual emails, but the option to get onto his mailing list.  His mailings include jokes, quotes, and his own rants and thoughts about a specific topic.  These mini-lessons to [thousands] continue our education and call for anybody to challenge him.  Someday I will have to repost his emails, but this paste is quotes that made me chuckle.

Thought I would share them with you.

 

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather–who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.”
–Author Unknown

Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: “Take two aspirin” and “Keep away from children.”
–Author Unknown

“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”
–Drew Carey

The problem with the designated driver program, it’s not a desirable job, but if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.”
–Jeff Foxworthy

“If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant’s life, she will choose to save the infant’s life without even considering if there is a man on base.”
–Dave Barry

“Relationships are hard. It’s like a full time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks’ notice. There should be severance pay, the day before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp.”
–Bob Ettinger

“My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, ‘Mom, they weren’t trying to teach you how to swim.’”
–Paula Poundstone

“A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: “Duh.”
–Conan O’Brien

“Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I’m halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God…. I could be eating a slow learner.”
–Lynda Montgomery

“I think that’s how Chicago got started. Bunch of people in New York said, ‘Gee, I’m enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn’t cold enough. Let’s go west.’”
–Richard Jeni

“If life were fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.”
–Johnny Carson

“Sometimes I think war is God’s way of teaching us geography.”
–Paul Rodriguez

“My parents didn’t want to move to Florida , but they turned sixty and that’s the law.”
–Jerry Seinfeld

“Remember in elementary school, you were told that in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic in that? What,……. do tall people burn slower?”
–Warren Hutcherson

“Bigamy is having one wife/husband too many. Monogamy is the same.”
–Oscar Wilde

“Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress.. But I repeat myself.”
–Mark Twain

“Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Afghanistan .”
–A. Whitney Brown

“You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, ‘My God, you’re right! I never would’ve thought of that!’”
–Dave Barry

Do you know why they call it “PMS”? Because “Mad Cow Disease” was taken.
–Unknown, presumed deceased

“Everybody’s got to believe in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.”
- W. C. Fields

And lastly: Why should I have to Press 1 for English?